underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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