she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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