I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
is wine microwaveable?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
