Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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