Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm like, not good at living.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
