i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
