If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
