Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
