I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
