awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she smelled like a LAN party
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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