508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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