I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
