Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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