I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
