dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
