You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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