Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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