Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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