i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
