Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
