I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
