Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
