I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
