so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
