Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
