hotel room ftw
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
