He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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