he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
