girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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