And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
