she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
