I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
