Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize