I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
