stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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