i already hear my dad disowning me
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
What a dumb baby whore.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
