Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
