so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
