i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
