dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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