Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
