i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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