Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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