i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
