So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
