CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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