We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
