you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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