just come out here and I will go home with you...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
