It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
