You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
