You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I didn't notice because vodka
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
