Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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