i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
