This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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