If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Less talking, more tequila
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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